Tip of the Week: How to help your child get grades back on track

If your child’s grades are not as smart-looking as you’d like, here are some suggestions to help get them back on track.

Set up a parent-teacher-child conference.

I have to admit I used to think conferences should be strictly parent-teacher. But our kids are the central players and need a seat at the table. (If there is something awkward that needs to be discussed out of earshot of your child, that’s fine. You can talk to the teacher privately at another time, but include your child in the conference.)

Your child needs to weigh in on constructive options and agree to give them a go. If your child is in middle school or high school and having significant difficulties, you may want to also include his guidance counselor. Take time to assess the situation before the meeting. Go into the gathering with an open mind. Ideally, you are looking for solutions to problems in a calm, collaborative manner.

Homework assignments

Find out if there were missing assignments or whether homework was not done correctly.

Discuss why the work was not done, and find out if the teacher(s) will accept late assignments for partial credit or will allow extra credit assignments. If there’s a concept your child does not understand, offer to help at home and ask if the teacher can offer extra help.

Come up with a plan for you child and you to stay on top of assignments. Remember, as your child matures he needs to take more responsibility for this. If you haven’t already agreed on a set time and place for homework, now is the time to do so.

In our house, our understanding is that homework comes before play. It comes before TV, iPods, text messaging… I try not to nag, but I do make a point of asking my kids about upcoming tests and reports. Just a simple “Do you have any tests or reports on the horizon?” is all it takes.

Tests and quizzes

Find out your child’s weaknesses; if there is a specific area in which he needs help, zero in on that. If your child is younger, you can lend a hand. If the subject matter is over your head, find out if the teacher holds tutoring sessions at lunch or before or after school. And ask about study guides or study sessions that might be offered right before a test. Find out if the school offers other tutoring options.

Work with your child on a plan to stay on top of test dates. Help your child plot out adequate time to prepare.

Absences

For parents with older children, make sure you know about all absences. This could be a huge red flag that deserves immediate attention.

Personality conflicts

Some students and teachers do not get along. This is a great opportunity to teach your child that you may not always like people in authority. But they deserve to be treated with respect.

Your child, especially as he gets older, needs to understand that he should not let his grades suffer because of a personality conflict. He’s got too much at stake.

The bottom line

Find out what your child will need to improve his grades. Come up with a game plan that your child, the teacher(s) and you can agree upon. Take the time at home to follow though on the plan.

Stay in touch and say thanks

Chances are one parent-teacher-student conference will not be enough. Make arrangements with the teacher(s) to stay in contact. If your school allows parents and students to monitor grades online, sign up for the service. Check the grades with your child.

Be sure that you and your child thank the teacher(s). Teachers are human. We’re all more inclined to help someone if he’s genuinely interested and appreciative.

Consequences

Kids need to accept responsibility for their actions. After all, their future depends on them doing well in school.

If you decide to have your child pay a price for a poor progress report, talk to him about the appropriate consequences. Not punishment, consequences. I would not suggest taking away everything, save food, water and a place to sleep. You want to work together to bring up his grades.

Here are some other stories from Such A Smart Mom that you’ll find helpful:

Tips from three award-winning teachers for a successful semester

Tips for raising a responsible child

Here are two stories on how one couple in Virginia dealt with their son’s lousy report card:

Bad Grades = Public Punishment from The New York Times.

Extreme parents from WTKR TV in Norfolk, Va.

Finally, here’s an amusing how-to column from ehow.com for kids who want to avoid being punished for poor grades.