Getting into a great college take more than smarts; it takes hard work

It seems rarely a day goes by without college planning creeping into conversations around our house.

Hannah, the daughter of some close friends, proved to us that with hard work and dedication you can get into Berkeley, UCLA and other top-flight schools.

My daughter, Emma, a 10th-grader, attended a college fair with her school a few weeks ago and was off to UCLA recently with a group of friends on her first of what I’m sure will be many visits to college campuses over the next few years.

Add in that Emma just signed up for her first SAT subject test and two girls in our carpool are taking SAT prep classes, and we have college on the brain.

Not long ago, my husband and I had dinner with two other couples, including Hannah’s fine parents, and the conversation turned to college admission. Arthur, one of our hosts for the evening, went to Berkeley many (I’ll spare you the details) years ago. He said he had just above average grades and hastily wrote his essay the night before the deadline.

Times have changed.

My daughter’s trip this weekend and the wonderful news about Hannah got me to wondering: What kind of grades do you need these days to see the inside of a UC classroom?

I knew the obvious answer was really good ones. But I wanted details.

Curious? Here’s a glimpse of this year’s admits: The highest average GPA: 4.17 at UCLA, followed ever so closely by Berkeley with 4.16. Next came UC San Diego with 4.09, Irvine with 4.01, Davis with 4.0, Santa Barbara 3.92, Santa Cruz 3.76, Riverside 3.63 and Merced 3.54. Mind you, these are averages.

The bar is high, to be sure. But, as my friends’ daughter has shown, a bright mind and a great work ethic can get you there.

What are parents like us to do? To get beyond an educated guess, I contacted Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the author of “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.” Professor Dweck has dedicated her career asking questions such as: What does it take to get ahead in life?

Her advice for us? If you want to raise smart kids, start by not telling them they’re smart. We shouldn’t simply praise the bright mind; we should praise hard work and encourage our kids to embrace the struggle that often comes with learning.

“Intelligence is not something you have, it’s something you build,” Dweck said.

Her research has found that children who are constantly praised for being smart often fall flat when facing academic challenges in middle school, high school and beyond. That’s because they expect to grasp everything with ease since mom and dad have been telling them all along that they’re brilliant. These kids, the professor said, think of the brain as a fixed tool that can’t be expanded or challenged.

Kids who consider the brain a muscle that can be pushed and developed learn that hard work is essential. And they are the ones who get ahead.

For the full picture of admittance rates, average SAT scores and more, read my post What it takes to make it into a University of California school.

And be sure to take a look at Such A Smart Mom’s “Smart Moves: On the Road to College,” a free college-planning guide that begins in middle school.