Here are Such A Smart Mom’s Top 10 Tips for a Successful School Year:

1. Start strong.

There is nothing more frustrating than having your child dig a deep, dark hole by sleep-walking through the first weeks of school. Make sure you and your kids are tanned, rested and ready for the new year.

2. Instill a sense of responsibility from the youngest age.

Teaching your kids to do their homework is like teaching them to drive. Hands-on help is needed in the beginning, but you methodically transfer knowledge and responsibility to the student driver.

When your child is young, teach them how to stay on top of homework. And monitor it to make sure it’s done correctly. But as they progress through the grades, make sure they take on more responsibility for getting the work done. This is especially true in transition years from elementary to middle school and middle school to high school. By the time your child reaches high school, she should be organized enough to keep track of homework and tests.

Such A Smart Mom loves the wisdom of Foster Cline and Jim Fay, authors of “Parenting with Love & Logic.” They advise parents that if they want to raise responsible children, they need to give them responsibilities. They may not become responsible overnight, but let them try, try again until practice makes perfect. You can learn more about their approach in this article.

3. Make sure your child gets plenty of sleep and healthy food.

How much sleep do kids (and adults) need nightly? The National Sleep Foundation recommends that children ages 5-11 need 10 to 11 hours, while kids 12 to 17 need 8.5 to 9.25 hours. And parents need between 7 and 9 hours.

For great tips on a healthy diet for kids, take a look at the American Academy of Pediatrics’ sections on nutrition and obesity.

4. Set aside a time and place for homework.

Make homework a part of your family’s daily routine. Set a time and a place that works for your child. It could be right after school or after you get home from work. Homework can be done at the kitchen table or at a special desk. For convenience, keep schools supplies, including pencils, markers and gluesticks, close at hand.

How much homework should you expect? As a general rule, in early elementary school grades you should plan on 15 to 30 minutes a night, including time for reading. Late elementary, you can count on 30 to 50 minutes a night. Middle schoolers can expect 60 to 90 minutes, and high schoolers can plan on 90 minutes or more per night.

5. Stay organized.

Keep a list or calendar of when homework is due and tests are scheduled. Use a whiteboard or a simple sheet of paper affixed to the refrigerator door.

When your child is young, you may need to be the keeper of the list, but make sure to work with your child to take on this responsibility as she matures. Middle school and high school students should have organizers that are filled in daily. If this isn’t happening, smart parents will work with their until they master this skill.

6. Set a good example.

If you want your child to spend time reading and working on assignments, turn off the TV and music and do something constructive while he’s working. Grab a book and read, finish some work you’ve brought home or get a jump on dinner.

7. Stay active and in touch with your child’s school.

Children whose parents work closely with their school tend to do better than children with parents who take a hands-off approach. If you have time, volunteer to help at your child’s school. It speaks volumes about the value you place on education.

Most importantly, stay in touch with your child’s teacher(s) through phone calls or emails. Most schools have Web sites loaded with great information. And some teachers have pages on those sites. Check the sites regularly.

Monitor grades and don’t be shy about asking for help if your child is struggling. The earlier, the better. The school will welcome your interest.

8. Limit TV and video games and find time for unorganized fun.

Set ground rules about electronics, perhaps no TV until the homework is done and no video games during the school week.

Resist the urge to over subscribe your child with extracurriculars. Kids need time to be kids.

9. Praise hard work.

Such A Smart Mom is a huge fan of Stanford University professor Carol Dweck and her message: If you want to raise smart kids, start by not telling them they’re smart. Praise their hard work and not their intelligence. You can learn more about Dr. Dweck in this article.

10. Talk about your child’s education.

Kids tend to live in the here and now and may not understand the long-term importance of getting a great education. That’s were parents come in. Talk to your kids about why they need to work hard. And encourage big dreams. Does your child want to be a teacher or a doctor or an architect? Encourage those dreams, but make sure he understands what it will take to make that dream a reality.

Kids may be keen on form - backpacks that are cute, colorful and coordinate with school outfits. But smart parents know that function should rule the day, especially for kids who attend middle schools and high schools without lockers and carry around heavy textbooks all day.

Carrying a heavy, poorly-fitting backpack takes its toll. According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, there were 12,309 backpack injuries last year that resulted in visits to doctor’s offices, hospitals and emergency rooms.

The orthopaedic surgeons’ group recommends looking for a backpack that has:

When organizing a backpack:

Final tip from Such A Smart Mom:

]]> http://suchasmartmom.com/?feed=rss2&p=3625 http://suchasmartmom.com/?p=3582 http://suchasmartmom.com/?p=3582#comments Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:09:36 +0000 http://suchasmartmom.com/?p=3582 My daughter and I started plotting out our back-to-school shopping plans yesterday. It’s that time.

Emma and I love our annual shopping trip for binder paper, glue sticks, notebooks, mechanical pencils and on and on. We generally stop at two or three stores before heading home with bags of great stuff for Emma and my son. (Noah’s happy to stay home with dad and trusts us to buy for him.)

We’ve also made a point of buying extra supplies for children whose parents can’t afford to stock up. Back when I was still working at The San Diego Union-Tribune, I helped organize a supply drive for an elementary school that the paper had adopted.

We put a huge bin in the employee entrance for a few weeks and people would generously bring in bags of supplies. Every year, Dave, a very sweet copy editor, would give me cash to buy backpacks because he said he wouldn’t know what kind to get.

Lynn, a woman in our community relations department, and Martin, a security guard, would empty the bin as it filled up; we usually ended up with 15 or 20 large boxes filled with supplies. Soon before school started, the husband of a woman who worked at the school would pick up the boxes and deliver them to the school. This was a very grassroots affair.

Yesterday, Emma recalled one of her middle school science teachers telling her class that some kids she had taught over the years could not afford the most basic supplies.

She told them about one boy who did not bring in the required notebook for the class. When asked why didn’t have one, he explained that his parents couldn’t afford a notebook until his dad got paid. The teacher pulled out a notebook and gave it to the boy, who expressed genuine appreciation.

As you are out and about picking up back-to-school supplies, here are two opportunities to donate necessities to needy children.

Staples and DoSomething.org are teaming up for their second school supply drive. Supplies can be dropped off at any Staples story by Sept. 19. Last year the campaign collected enough supplies to fill tens of thousands of backpacks.

You can find more information at do.something.org.

Also, Borders and Waldenbooks stores are collecting new children’s books to donate to charities. Each store has selected a charity in its area. Books will be accepted through the first week of September.

If they seem to be without that strong desire to succeed, veteran educator Janine Walker Caffrey said they have plenty of company.

Caffrey, author of “Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve,” said members of Generation Me - kids born between 1981 and 1996 - tend to have an unreasonable expectation that things will be handed to them and that life will be just fine regardless of their effort.

In her book, Caffrey offers parents a step-by-step roadmap to get their kids back in the driver’s seat and on the road to success. She is the founder of the Drive Institute and the Renaissance Academy, a private school in Florida that stresses intellectual curiosity and a drive to succeed.

While the goal of Caffrey’s nine steps is to change children’s behavior, she repeatedly stresses that parents need to make serious adjustments, too. Her bottom line: We don’t serve our children well by coddling them and satisfying all their desires. Her advice is geared toward parents with children who are in middle school to early adulthood, but much of her approach applies to younger children, too.

1. Be a pathfinder parent. Caffrey said too many parents try to control every aspect of their children’s waking hours, while others take a hands-off approach. She encourages parents to find a middle ground by scouting out the path ahead for their kids and helping them make good decisions.

“The helicopter parent solves all the problems for the child,” she said. “The hot-air balloon parent ignores the problem. But the pathfinder parent teaches the child how to solve his own problems and trusts that he can do it.”

(Caffrey’s exceptions: Strong parental intervention is necessary if teens face serious threats, including drug or alcohol use.)

2. Increase Risk. We are raising too many kids who avoid taking chances, so parents need to help them break out of their protective bubbles, Caffrey said. For example, a parents with kids in late elementary school through middle school should encourage their kids to overcome a fear, such as riding a rollercoaster or performing in public. She said to talk about the fear and then offer to take that scary ride together.

Parents can also encourage kids to try a new sport or activity outside their comfort zone. And don’t let them quit midway through the season or class.

Parents of high school students need to encourage them to learn to drive, work for pay or volunteer and try new activities.

Based on her experience as an educator and a mother of two, Caffrey said the best time to increase risk is in middle school because kids don’t take themselves too seriously and are willing to try new roles.

3. Decrease Rewards. Caffrey said parents and society in general are not doing kids any favors for giving them rewards “just for showing up.” Sports trophies and academic awards should only go to kids who deserve it. The same goes for small treasures teachers give to students who behave. Good behavior should be expected, not rewarded.

4. Deschedule. Caffrey said children need free time to play in an unstructured environment.

“They are trying on different roles and creating and practicing the skills, especially social skills, that they will need later in life,” she said.

As difficult as this economy is, Caffrey said, it has one bright spot: Parents are cutting back on all the dance classes, sports, art lessons and music instruction that dominated their children’s lives. By cutting back on some structured activities, families have more time to spend together and kids have more time to create their own fun.

5. Reduce Comfort. Giving our children everything they desire does not provide them with the motivation to take risks and go out and get what they want on their own, Caffrey said.

Her solution: Take away creature comforts and let kids earn them. If your middle schooler wants to go to the movies with friends, tell him he can earn the money by cleaning the garage.

If your high schooler is afraid of learning to drive, stop being her chauffeur. When possible, have her walk, ride a bike or take public transportation. Let her know that learning to drive is part of becoming an independent adult.

6. Delay Gratification. At a time when instant celebrity and immediate wealth are mainstays of mass media, Caffrey said, kids need to know that success takes time, hard work and personal responsibility.

Parents can buy great opportunities for their kids when they are young, perhaps an intensive and expensive summer music camp. But as they get older, they will need to earn those opportunities through talent and hard work.

7. Encourage Accomplishment. If you want your children to go far, praise their hard work and not their inherent intelligence or talent.

Caffrey said she is a huge fan of Stanford University psychology professor Carol Dweck, who advises parents that if they want to raise smart kids, they should start by not telling them they are smart.

(To learn more about Dweck and her research on the psychology of success, read Such A Smart Mom’s Want to raise smart children? Praise their effort, not their intelligence

8. Control the Crowd. If you want your children to succeed in school and other endeavors, you need to keep a close eye on their circle of friends, Caffrey said.

When her kids were young, Caffrey said, “I always infiltrated their schools; that always worked for me.” From inside the classroom, she could monitor their choices in friends. As her children got older, she made sure they invited friends over so she could get to know them.

Like-minded kids tend to seek each other out, so help guide your kids to friends who value hard work, Caffrey said.

9. Create a Sense of Purpose. Young children have a sense of purpose. It may be to learn to walk or to make a huge pile of rocks in the backyard. They approach their work with great resolve.

This trait, she said, tends to disappear as children get older. We can help them get it back by encouraging them to pursue interests that they are passionate about. And, Caffrey cautioned, we should remember that this sense of purpose may not be tied to earning a huge salary.

“It may not be how they will earn their income,” she said. “But it’s what gives them a reason to be.”

To learn more: A video interview with Janine Walker Caffrey is available on the Drive Institute Web site.

I recently read “Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder,” a national bestseller by author Richard Louv, and immediately mounted my own campaign to get my kids outdoors. It’s amazing how much nature you can find just minutes from your home.

I asked Louv, a former colleague of mine at The San Diego Union-Tribune, to answer a few questions about nature-deficit disorder and suggest ways for parents to combat it one child at a time. He graciously agreed.

1. How do you see nature-deficit disorder manifest itself in children?

That could be a long list, though you would want to include health, learning, and personal self-esteem. Children who experience nature play are healthier, test better in school and probably are a lot happier than their peers, who come home from school and watch a screen, rather than experience what’s out the door.

Research suggests over-organized childhood and the devaluing of unstructured play, including nature play, have huge implications for children’s ability to self-regulate.

2. How do children benefit from time in nature?

Recent research that focuses on young people suggests that exposure to nature can improve all children’s cognitive abilities and resistance to negative stresses and depression. Environmental psychologists reported in 2003 that simply a room with a view of nature can help protect children against stress, and that the protective impact of nearby nature is strongest for the most vulnerable children — those experiencing the highest levels of stressful life events.

More than 100 studies reveal that one of the main benefits of spending time in nature is stress reduction. Other studies indicate that nature can be powerful therapy for such maladies as obesity and depression, and that time in nature greatly aids a child’s ability to learn – at home or at school.

The Children & Nature Network, a non-profit organization, has posted a large number of excellent research reports online and there’s no cost to access them. For those interested, here’s the link to three volumes of research abstracts (with links to the original research) on our Children & Nature Network Web site. And here’s a link that tells more about “Last Child in the Woods.”

3. Do you believe there is a link between nature deficit and ADHD? Why do you feel this way?

Excellent research correlates nature experience with reduced symptoms of ADHD. For example, fascinating recent studies by the Human-Environment Research Laboratory at the University of Illinois show that direct exposure to nature can help relieve the symptoms of attention-deficit disorders. By comparison, activities indoors, such as watching TV, or activities outdoors in paved, non-green areas, leave these children functioning worse.

Research also indicates student achievement levels rise in core academic areas, including reading, math and science, when learning takes place in more natural settings. Studies also show there is a reduction in discipline problems when students are able to spend time outside, including recess, and a renewed zest for learning when nature is part of the school experience.

“Natural spaces and materials stimulate children’s limitless imaginations and serve as the medium of inventiveness and creativity,” says Robin Moore, an international authority on natural school design, who heads the Natural Learning Initiative in North Carolina.

When parents hear about these studies, they want nature for their kids, either as an addition to traditional therapies or in some cases a replacement. I hear from parents and teachers all over the country how important this can be to their children and students, and in many cases the remarkable improvement that does occur. One recent study out of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign looks at the impact nature has on a child’s ability to concentrate.

4. As a suburban dad, what did you do with your sons when they were young to make sure they spent time in nature? What ideas would you offer to parents today?

I took them fishing every chance I had, and sometimes hiking, or camping in our old van, and we lived on a canyon when the boys were smaller, and we encouraged them to build forts and explore behind our house.

And when I had interviews to conduct that involved the outdoors I often tried to think of ways to bring one of my sons along. Ultimately, a change in behavior begins with the individual — who then talks to a neighbor about the nature deficit problem and decides to do something about it.

It’s never too early – or too late — to teach children to appreciate the outdoors.  An easy way to reconnect with nature is to go birding — urban or suburban, rural or wilderness. Check to see if there is an Audubon Society chapter nearby, or a park naturalist who leads walks. The Cornell Lab of Ornithology is a good source for other information. I say this because Audubon Society-affiliated field trips are inexpensive – usually participants share gasoline costs – and this is a good way to meet people who know a great deal about the local terrain. Amateur birders are welcome.

For young families, the Children & Nature Network’s sister Web site, Nature Rocks offers a host of activities and resources, including a nature staycation planning guide.

I’ve included a Field Guide of 100 Actions Parents and Communities Can Take in a new special section at the end of the 2008 edition of “Last Child in the Woods.” A few of these actions, in abbreviated form, can be found in the resources section of richardlouv.com.  

5. How can parents reconcile their need to protect their children from stranger danger and their desire to have their children spend time exploring nature?
 
Well, parents need to be practical. Here’s one piece of advice from family psychologist John Rosemond: Teach your child to watch for behaviors, not necessarily for strangers.

According to Rosemond, “Telling a child to stay away from strangers is relatively ineffective. ‘Stranger’ is not a concept young children understand easily. Instead, children ought to be taught to be on the lookout for specific threatening behaviors and situations.” This view is supported by the U.S. Department of Justice. 

Here are some other suggestions: Get to know your neighbors. Invest yourself in the life of the block and the surrounding community. Create a play-watch group and ask fellow parents to sit on front stoops or porches or lawns several hours a week; that way, they are available at a distance as children play.

It’s important to point out that I’m not saying there is no risk out there. Risk is a reality, but multiple-family outings can help reduce that risk and raise the comfort level. Responsible family nature clubs, along with nature centers and other organized programs, can help parents and kids reduce their anxiety about venturing into the outdoors.

I’m delighted that the idea of Nature Clubs for Families is beginning to catch on across the country. They do fun things and everyone has a good time – parents and children. For more on Nature Clubs for Families, including a free downloadable guide that will tell you everything you’ll need to know to start your own, take a look at childrenandnature.org.

6. With school budgets under severe stress, do you have any simple suggestions for schools and parent volunteer groups to help children connect with nature?

No question, the budget situation in California is grim, as it is in other states. But building schools designed like prisons, banishing live animals from classrooms, and dropping recess and field trips is not the answer. That course of action does not make economic, moral or scientific sense. 

Parents and teachers can become advocates for nature-related classes in their school. Lobby one-on-one, go to PTA meetings, make your voice heard. One way to do this is to let the policy-makers know that research indicates student achievement levels rise in core academic areas, including reading, math and science, when learning takes place in more natural settings.

Studies also indicate a reduction in discipline problems when students are able to spend time outside, including recess, and a renewed zest for learning when nature is part of the school experience. This can be a low-cost schoolyard gardening experience, for example.

At the political level, I’m encouraged by the No Child Left Inside Act of 2009, introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives and Senate, which would, in part, create a sizeable environmental education grant program to the states for teacher development, and provide funding to help ensure that primary and secondary school students are environmentally literate.

Importantly, the legislation’s focus is not only on classroom education, but also (less specifically) on actually getting students outside and into nature. Another exciting development is the increasing popularity of nature preschools, where children learn about wildlife even as they learn to read.

The best news is at the grassroots. The nonprofit Children & Nature Network, for which I now serve as chairman, has tracked and encouraged more than 50 regional campaigns that are helping reintroduce children to nature. These campaigns, often focused on children’s health, will add power to what might be called natural school reform.

One more suggestion: I believe young people will become the leaders of the children and nature movement. Please take a look at C&NN’s Network Natural Leaders network Through it, young people can help other young people get outside into nature, learn and perhaps build a career at the same time. 

Ultimately, we need the kind of cultural change that engages families in every kind of neighborhood — urban, suburban and rural – and nature-inclusive curriculum then becomes a thread in the societal fabric – a part of daily life.

He is the recipient of the 2008 Audubon Medal. A former columnist for The San Diego Union-Tribune and Parents magazine, Louv has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Times of London and other newspapers and magazines, and keeps a full speaking schedule. For more information, visit lastchildinthewoods.com.

Schools everywhere - and no more so than here in California - will have to live with smaller budgets, larger class sizes and fewer supplies. The annual fall fundraising drive certainly represents your parent group’s best opportunity to help absorb some of the cuts.

I’ve helped with pledge drives at my children’s elementary and middle schools for six years. The year before I took over the drive, the elementary school had brought in about $7,000 in pledges. By the time I departed, we were bringing in about $50,000. This was a group effort by a handful of parents who wanted more for the school. And I’m happy to say the upward climb continued after I was gone.

Part of the increase was due to an increase in enrollment. But the vast majority was due to the parent group trying new ideas, chief among them asking for a lot more per child than we had in the past and offering incentives. And we coordinated our message with other schools in the community for a more united front.

Here are my 12 top tips for a successful fall fundraising drive.

1. Build around a theme. People want to know how their donation will be used.

Two years ago, for example, our middle school relocated to a new campus. We built our theme around being “on the move.” We were a bit worried that parents would look at the beautiful locale and conclude there were no need to donate.

We compared the relocation to a family moving into a new home. We could all relate to the unexpected costs that go with moving into a new place. We had a good year.

2. It’s all about the economy. People make tough choices during tough times. We do without non-essentials. Our children’s education is an essential. There is no more powerful message than that.

3. Offer testimonials. One year, our parent group president asked a veteran teacher at the school to compare the support he was receiving from the school in the way of supplies, textbooks and other vital materials with his earliest years as a teacher.

His comments, shared during a packed house during back to school night, resulted in a startling response from parents. They knew the situation was bad, but they had no idea just how much things had changed.

We worked the teacher’s comments into our fundraising brochure and parent newsletter and had a record-setting pledge drive.

You can also include short quotes from the principal or a few teachers on the difference parent financial support can make.

4. Presentation counts. If you are not strong with words or visuals, find parents who are. I teamed up with a dad at the elementary and middle school who was experienced at marketing and graphic presentation. I wrote the words and he added his marketing know how and flair for presentation.

On the word front, be brief. Bullet points and short lists will beat out long blocks of type every time.

5. Aim high. Set a goal for your drive. Include that goal in all your presentations. And update progress regularly in email blasts, newsletters, your school Web site or signs around school.

6. Aim high with your contribution levels, too. Several years ago (at the onset of several bad budget cycles), all the schools in our community joined forces for our fall drives. We decided to ask parents to donate $180 per child or “just” $1 a day for each day of school. Lesser amounts were, of course, gladly accepted. But the amount of the appeal stuck. All the schools continue to ask for the same amount or have upped the amount slightly.

I would encourage you to not lower your top-dollar amount because of the down economy. Over the years, I’ve found that most of the families who donate, give at the highest level.

7. Tax advantages. I know this seems obvious, but believe it or not our parent group went years without pointing out that it was a recognozed non-profit and therefore donations were deductible. Build this information into your written and verbal appeals and your thank you notes.

8. Ask once, ask again and then ask again. Parents are busy. Even the most dedicated will forget to send in a donation. Send home an appeal at the start of the school year and at least two other times. This can be via snail mail, email or the backpack express.

Make presentations during school registration and back to school night. Any other gatherings at the school are great opportunities to reach out. Be persistent. And don’t forget to ask parents to look into whether their employees offer matching donations.

I have not tried this personally, but one high school here in San Diego organized a telethon and had parent group board members call families that had not yet made a donation. The response was excellent.

9. Let families pay with credit cards. This will cost your group some money in credit card fees. But I have found that people who pay with credit cards tend to give more, a lot more. You will more than make up for the monthly credit card fees.

10. Offer an incentive. At our elementary school, we offered a sliding scale of incentives. The more you gave, the more you got. Top donors, for example, would receive a free yearbook or totebag or school T-shirt.

We also included coupons for top donors to send in during other fundraisers such as the gift-wrap drive which said something like “I’m opting out of this fundraiser because I gave at the highest level durning the pledge.”

To be real honest, many of the people who donated during the pledge drive also donated during gift-wrap drives and the spring jog-a-thon. But I think they liked the idea of knowing they didn’t have to feel pressured to give later in the school year.

At the middle school last year, my pledge co-chair and I borrowed an idea from other schools and offered a drawing for a $200 gift card for all parents who donated during the drive.

11. Thank donors publicly. Set aside an issue of your newsletter to publish a list of families who have donated to the cause.

12. Send thank yous! Again, this may seem obvious, but there are schools that don’t bother acknowledging donations.

I have asked for email addresses and sent the vast majority of my thanks you notes electronically, which saved time and postage. In addition to your thank you message, include your organization’s tax identification number and encourage the families to save the acknowledgement for tax purposes. Be sure to send them home well before tax season.

To learn more: Read Such A Smart Mom’s Top school fundraisers get smart and creative during tough times

1. Teach your kids the importance of recycling. Put bottles and cans in the curbside recycling bin or exchange them for cash at a recycling center. Did you know you can run a TV for almost 3 hours on the same amount of electricity that is saved by recycling one aluminum can?

2. Get your kids outside, away from the video games. Take them to a park, on a hike, to the beach or even your backyard. According to San Diego Gas & Electric, if you turn off the TV you will save 5 percent of the total energy used in your house.

3. Visit your local nature center. Quail Botanical Gardens in Encinitas has a children’s center that exhibits drought tolerant plants and artificial turf to save water.

4. Hold a yard sale. You will teach your children the reuse message by taking any outgrown clothes and toys and selling them to others, rather than throwing them in the trash.

5. Take a trip to the library. Sharing books is a great way to reduce waste and reuse materials. While you’re there, look for green books, including “The Lorax” by Dr. Seuss and “Why Should I Save Water?” by Jen Green.

6. Don’t let your kids pile their plates with food at dinner. Encourage them to take what they’re able to eat. According to National Geographic, enough food to feed 49 million people ends up in landfills in the United States each year.

7. Spend a day at the beach. The Surfrider Foundation offers scheduled beach clean-ups that will help your child see the importance of properly disposing of waste. It’s a perfect opportunity to enjoy the outdoors and learn together as a family.

8. Teach kids to eat healthier and “green” by visiting your local farmer’s market. You’ll be supporting your local farmers, and locally-grown foods are fresher and more nutritious.

9. Don’t kill that spider! According to National Geographic there are an estimated 40,000 species of spiders, and they all eat insects. They’re an important part of the food web and provide natural pest control.

10. Get creative when reusing! Most things in your kitchen can be used for something else with a bit of imagination. Help your kids use empty yogurt containers to grow seeds in and empty Tupperware as storage containers for small art and craft items.

Visit standforless.com to learn more easy tips today! The organization is based in San Diego, but its suggestions certainly apply across California and the rest of the country.

It rained the day Emma took her first behind-the-wheel lesson, and I was a nervous wreck while I waited for her to get back home. Today is downright hot. I was still a nervous wreck, and so was Emma.

She pulled my SUV into the DMV carport and waited and waited for the evaluator to arrive. (OK, it was less than 10 minutes, but it seemed like forever.) I squeezed her hand and told her I knew she was ready. She’s become a strong driver over the past six months.

While we waited, my sister, Sandy, called. I thought I’d attempt some levity and said rather loudly, “Guess where I am? I’m at the DMV waiting for Emma to take her test!” Emma’s response? “Mom!”

My sister went on to tell me that one of her kids - she couldn’t remember which one - ran a stop sign and failed at the first attempt for a license. I decided I’d better not mention that to Emma until after she finished her exam.

When the evaluator arrived, I decided not to make a fuss, so I climbed out without saying good luck or goodbye. I hadn’t thought about protocol. What are you supposed to say? Knock em dead? Break a leg? Hardly. I’ll try to be better prepared when my son goes for his test in a few years.

I sat in the waiting area with another mom; her 16-year-old daughter had driven off on her test a few minutes before Emma.

This was this mom’s third daughter to get her license. (She, too, passed her test.) We talked about driving and the other subject weighing on parents whose kids are about to start their junior year: college.

Her daughter just started her SAT prep class. I mentioned that we’ll be looking at some schools in a few weeks. We talked for a few more minutes until her daughter arrived back. Once I was alone, I couldn’t concentrate on some reading I’d brought to pass the time. I poked my head outside and there was Emma sitting with the evaluator.

She got out of the car and walked toward me. If Emma ever takes up professional poker, her competition had best watch out. She has an amazing poker face. I couldn’t tell whether she had passed or not. No smile. Nothing.

As she drew nearer, I said: “Well? Thumbs up or thumbs down?” She smiled - finally - and shot me a thumbs up.

How badly do you want your child to make it into the college of her dreams? How much are you willing to pay? I’m not talking about tuition. How much are you willing to pay just to guide her through the application process?

Some parents - you may want to sit down before you read this - are willing to fork over as much as $40,000 to an independent college counselor. They are lured in, no doubt, by names such as Ivy Success and IvyWise.

An eye-opening story on the front page of the New York Times “Before College, Costly Advice Just on Getting In” offers a cautionary tale to any parent who assumes paying top dollar for a private college counselor will get you the best money can buy. Reporter Jacques Steinberg looked into the backgrounds of some of the costliest counselors who claim to have worked in admissions offices at top-drawer schools and found outright lies and gross exaggerations.

The temptation to hire a private counselor is certainly understandable. I have a daughter who will be a high school junior in the fall. I’m feeling the pressure just as so many of you are.

Getting into college is more competitive and costlier than ever. And the help our kids can get from their high school counselors is severely limited. California ranks dead last in the ratio of high school counselors to students, according to “Comparing California,” a report by Ed-Data, an education partnership that includes the state’s Department of Education. There are 1.1 counselors for every 1,000 students.

So what’s a parent to do? If you decide to hire an independent counselor, be vigilant. They are unlicensed and unregulated. No one is looking out for you. Put on your investigative reporter hat and do a background check. Make sure they are who they say they are.

Ask for references. Or ask friends who have hired a counselor for a recommendation. If a counselor claims to know the secret handshake to get your teen in the door of a top-tier school, run - do not walk - to the nearest exit.

Better yet, become your own college counselor. It will cost you time, but it will save you money, which you can put toward tuition when the time comes. Create a partnership with your high schooler and do your own research.

Bookstores and libraries are filled with helpful works that will set you back little or no money. And the Internet is awash with free resources. Again, you need to do your homework. Just as there are unscrupulous college counselors, there are plenty of lousy Web sites out there.

Take time to read Such A Smart Mom’s “Simple suggestions and great Web sites for college planning this summer.” I have a list of five smart things you can do this summer to research colleges and how to pay for them. You should also download my free guide “Smart Moves: On the Road to College.”

And talk to friends and family with children a few years older than yours. I’ve picked up a ton of advice from casual conversations at swim meets and family barbecues that have cost me nothing but have been worth their weight in gold.

You can also look at the Independent Educational Consultants Association Web site, educationalconsulting.org, for private counselors who are members of this organization.

Requirements for membership in the association include:

I searched the member database and found 30 in California, including two in San Diego County.

Finally, for a wealth of free information, you can take a look at College Admissions Partners, a Web site by Todd Johnson, a private admissions counselor in Minnesota. In his impressive resources section, you will find articles on various aspects of the admissions process and many useful Web sites.

The waves off Torrey Pines State Beach were pretty weak, so the boys abandoned their boogie boards for an old, flat football.

How long can two 13-year-olds and a 12-year-old entertain themselves playing monkey in the middle in luminous, light green water up to their thighs? Forever or at least until they get hungry.

One of the the boys is visiting from Virginia, where he and his family moved last summer. Noah and Thomas met in Mrs. Romero’s third grade class here in San Diego. Between their love for baseball, football, monkeys and math, they were destined to be buds.

They were math whizzes, so Mrs. Romero let them work together. Their fierce competitiveness kicked in as they attempted to be the first to master their multiplication tables. I volunteered every Friday to help test students on their math facts; as I recall, they completed their 12s on the same day.

Math was not on their minds today. Noah, Thomas and Connor were in full summer mode. As they were lost in their game, laughing and throwing each other down into the waves, I noticed some of the other moms on the crowded beach pointing at something farther out in the ocean.

When I heard the words “Is that a shark?” I tuned in big time. It was a trio of dolphins, gliding ever so gracefully on their way north.

Not wanting their kids to miss the playful mammals, some moms ran to their kids and others waved their arms to attract their kids’ attention and called out, “Look, look!”

I thought about pointing out the passing trio to the boys, but decided not to. My own trio was having way too much fun.