Breast cancer’s reminder that everyday life is a gift
One of the most contemplative places I have ever encountered is the nondescript waiting area of my oncologist’s office.
After nearly 19 years of being free of breast cancer, my annual visit still brings me back to a quiet place inside myself where I ponder what could have been and how lucky I am to be here.
Today was my day to meet with my oncologist, Dr. Kroener. I’ve had a few scares over the years, but I knew this would not be one of those visits. A notice in the mail more than a week ago delivered the good news that my mammogram had come back clean.
This visit was brief. The questions were familiar. Anything unusual to report? Sudden weight loss? Any unusual pain? Any new questions? No, no, no and no.
Then we moved on to small talk. Dr. Kroener, a young doctor accompanying her and I spoke briefly about women doctors and how so many seem to leave the field or choose to work part-time after having children. In the past, my former oncologist, Dr. Saven, and I used to discuss the news business.
It’s the waiting room that pulls me back to Sept. 12, 1990, the day of my mastectomy, and the six months of chemo that followed.
Maybe it’s overhearing people caught in cancer’s chaos speak in hushed tones about the test or treatment that brought them in. Maybe it’s seeing women wearing scraves to cover their hair loss. This time I counted four, including one young woman in a pink scarf who rested her head on her husband’s shoulder. I was 32 and a newlywed when I was diagnosed.
In years past, this calm thankfulness that comes over me as I wait would linger for weeks, even months. Today, I confess, it was short lived. I drove the final carpool of the school year from my daughter’s high school. Traffic was a bear and one of the girls was late. The everyday life of being a mom. Isn’t it grand?
Comment by Laurie on 20 September 2009:
My Dearest Ruth - I will miss you terribly. You are one of my heros and your courage, strength and love will forever be in my heart. Forever. Thank you for the delightful ways you lived your life and loved your children and husband. Thank you for giving me the example of strength so that I can now take care of my husband who is ill with cancer. Thank you for understanding how hard it is to be a mom…and what a complete joy it is too. Thank you for being you Ruth. Thank you.
Love,
Laurie
Comment by Lynn O'Shaughnessy on 21 September 2009:
I am so very, very sorry to hear of Ruth’s death. I remember talking to Ruth about her plans for her website and her excitement about what lay ahead as she enthusiastically embraced a new career that would combine her love of journalism and her quest to help all of us with kids be better parents. What could be sweeter than that?
Ruth was a big inspiration for me since I had started my own blog/website and I was wondering and still am what the future will hold. Her ability to juggle all her demands and get her amazing website up and running was a wonder. And I drew from her energy.
Ruth led the kind of noble, giving life that many of us can only aspire to achieve. I am so sorry that it ended so abruptly and far too soon, but you can be assured that Ruth will live on in her family and friends.
Lynn O’Shaughnessy
Comment by Steve on 21 September 2009:
I can’t believe Ruth has been taken away, and so suddenly. I will remember her as a devoted mom, an outspoken advocate, a thinker, a talented writer with great sense of humor, and a wonderful human being. I miss her already. Rest in peace, Ruth, and may God bless and protect your family.